what do you say?

There has been so much that I have wanted to say about this world cup.Many times I have considered updated my blog with the greatest intentions of doing so, but haven't. I apologise. It is difficult to write about something that isn't as fresh in your heart and memory, so instead of blogging about the beginning of my World cup experience, I will blog about something that happened last night.

It was (as we all know) the FIFA World Cup Final. Big hoopla, big excitement. There was no way that I was going to miss the last oppertunity to experience a truely South African world cup 'vibe', and so I decided that I would make my way to the Durban Fan Park on the beach front. I am estimating that there was close to 40 thousand people in the area. What a vibe.

I was walking from the car towards the fan park, when a man approached me. He was very 'local'. Not terribly dressed, didnt smell like acohol or sewerage, but it was quite easy to tell he wasn't an upperclass man living in Umhlanga. He greeted me, and being the friendly person I am, I turned and shook his hand. After exchanged the initail "how are you's" of any conversation, he said to me "listen my friend. I have something here. I have some very nice Marajuana for you". I must say didn't really expect that from him, although, at the same time, I wasn't completely suprised. I guess the fact that I was supporting an afro for the night made me look like a customer. I immediately turned down the offer politely. But I wanted to ask this guy about his life and find out more about his situation.
Not knowing what else to say, I asked if he knew what he was doing was bad for him and... well... illegal. He said "yes I know, but I have to feed myself somehow. And it is the only way I get money". "Why don't you find another job? Surely there is stuff around here to do?" I asked. "Boss, you give me a job then".
I continued the conversation to learn that on a 'good night' of business as a marajuana dealer, this man made between 1 and 2 thousand Rand ($130 and $230) selling his Marajuana on the beachfront. Good sum of money for someone living on the street. I wanted to express that what he was doing wasnt right, and there is a better way to live, but I didn't know what to say. I was speechless.

Millions of things ran through my mind. Do I point him out to the police. Do i try tell him about my faith. If I did tell him about my faith, what would I say when he asks, "but how do I get money for my family then? Jesus won't give me money". Do I give him some money. Do I buy him food. Do I just continue and pretend I never met him.

After asking me where I was from (expecting I would reply somewhere in Europe or the United States) I told him I was a Durban local. He was suprised, but smiled and shook my hand. He said goodbye, and as I looked back to say somthing to him, he had disappeared into the huge crowd.

I walked away from that conversation a failure. I felt it too. I didn't share with him what I believed, I didn't help him at all in his situation, I didn't even learn his name.

How can we bring a message of Hope if we are not prepared? We have to be ready for these situations at all times, not just on Sundays or when we do outreach events.

I suspect there are millions more men, women and children like this man in our cities and around the world. Don't make the mistake I made. Take every oppertunity you are given! Speak to people, seize the moment, rather than finding yourself, like me, praying for a nameless man that I will probably never see again.

this is africa

For anyone who has watched the movie "Blood Diamond" where Leonardo De Caprio takes his best shot at a South(ern) African accent (I say Southern, as technically, the character was from Rhodesia) you would have heard the phrase 'T.I.A.', meaning, 'THIS IS AFRICA'... The phrase is basically a sinical response to anything that is injust, or something that is below par in our continent, explaining that it is ok because we are in Africa. An extremely cheap example; when our local tv station completely messes up a live broadcast, people will jokingly remark "TIA right?". Emplying, its ok because in Africa, mediocrity is acceptable.

However, that statement has been completely reinvented with the extremely popular and overplayed song, "waka waka" performend by Shakira and Freshly Ground. The song quickly became the anthem of the world cup, and the anthem of Africa. It has started its own mini revolution by saying "THIS IS AFRICA" in a completely different light. It sings the sentance with pride and dignity. It is about exclaiming the beauty of Africa, and being unashamed of its downfalls or its past.

This world cup has done something for South Africa that no amount of food or forgien relief could do. It has made our people PROUD to be South African, and PROUD to be African. I think the country has woken up and realised that we are not just poor and badly treated Africa, and we cannot just settle for second best. Our government and organising comittees have proven that with a bit of hard work and determination, we can achieve greatness.

Although this has been felt accross the continent of Africa, I think the greatest impact was on the host nation, South Africa. I really hope that we as South Africans, who have become proudly African, will take some responsibility for our continent, and not rely on the West. As Africans, we can and must stick up for eachother and the greater good of our continent.

The 2010 Football World Cup has been dubbed as the greatest world cup in history. We Did it! South Africa showed the world the world its worth. No longer will TIA be a sinical comment, but rather a statement of Pride because this is our country. This is our continent. These are our people.

THIS IS AFRICA

hope...

Maybe you could tell from my last post that I wasn't in such a great place. Yes, it was relatively obvious. Sorry for letting that out on my blog! but anyway, through the struggle, there is hope.

After dwelling in this kind of hopelessness, I had an awesome conversation with my youth pastor/boss. She told me. "Don'be let worries about next year be defined by what you do, rather by who you are and who you become". The fact is, it doesn't matter what I do, next year, because God is going to use me and grow me no matter what. This thought has become a mindset, and this mindset has really freed up my thinking...

SO what now? Well, I started looking at church internship programs in the states. Found one that I filled out an application for in HAWAII!! But keeping options open to do something radical. Then, after speaking to a lady in our church who runs the missions and justice side of Grace, she suggested that I could go work at this orphanage about 2 hours away from where I am. it has like a thousand kids and is an amazing ministry, but just short staffed. Wouldn't that be a way to spend the year?

See, the point is not that my future is all worked out, its that God is in control, and if I keep seeking after what HE wants for me, then all will be good. I came across this psalm that has really encouraged me and become my 'theme psalm' for the moment :)

Its Psalm 16 (NLT):

5Lord , you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
What a wonderful inheritance!

I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
My body rests in safety.
For you will not leave my soul among the deads
or allow your holy ones to rot in the grave.
You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever!

blogging is tougher than it looks...

Finding times to write stuff out is difficult, especially when you don't think you're a very good writer! I apologise for my lack of brilliant writing skills, and pray that these skills will improve as I continue this blog!

How am I doing personally? ... not great. Having a tough time at life and can't really explain why. looking at the past week or 2, I think one thing that may have begun this lull that I am in was failing my drivers test!! aah, it was terrible. Just reminds me how much I hate the South African licensing and driving system. but lets not dwell on that, whats done is done. let just hope I can book another date somewhat soon and pass second time round.

The future is a scary place... especially when you have no idea what it looks like!

Going to study in the states this year is beginning to look like a fantasy. I finally was able to get an application in for Belmont, but without a social security number at hand, applying with FAFSA is going to be difficult, and very late. Its sad really, I don't know what the next step should be. There is a chance I may be in the States in June with my mom, once again applying for an SS number! I'm also going to start looking at the possibility of doing something at a community college, and maybe try do some online courses before enrolling for Belmont in 2011. In summary, PLEASE pray for dirrection for my life in this next year. It is a struggle, and I am beginning to get anxious with the future.

I guess now, after reading Proverbs 2 this week, I am trying to be extra wise in all of my decisions. Easier said then done, but I believe that God has a huge plan for my life, and he will make it happen, even when stuff gets in the way.

Psalm 31:15a... "My future is in your hands."

Something fresh...

www.youversion.com

My new favourite website!
why? well basically, you make an account, log in, and have access to a bible in every different translation, a journal, bookmarks, tags, notes, and the list goes on. I started using this website about a week ago, and it has really helped 're-kickstart' my scripture reading and personal devotion times. I'm the kind of person that needs direction, and a personal online bible reading plan is exactly what I needed! Go Check it out!

Update on my year so far...

Here it goes... 2010 has been an extremely interesting and fast paced year for me. Looking back, it is all kind of a blur. After finishing high school, everything in your life changes. There is no norm anymore, there is no comfort in routine, and no day-to-day life that has been scripted for you. A lot of my friends moved away and went off to start lives at university, and very few were left. Adding to the change, we moved house. Which ended up being an awesome thing for the family! Living so close to my church friends, and my new job (at the church) has just made life so much easier.

Working at grace has been a blessing! Of course it has come with struggles and hardships, but in the most part, it has been a wonderful experience. Hanging out with older and wiser people has been so great and I've learnt a LOT in the first few months that I have been here! God has been doing some awesome things at Grace, and in our Youth in particular. It is always exciting to see what he is going to do next. We just recently went on a youth camp, which for many kids was life changing to say the least! The youth formed a bond of family beyond race, culture or 'clique' and it was so exciting to see and be a part of. God really worked through the kids hearts that weekend!

It is now school holidays in South Africa, and everybody is off school for 2 weeks. It's strange not celebrating school holidays! I used to sleep till noon every day, and laze around ensuring that I do nothing of a strenuous nature. On the contrary, my life just gets busier around easter time. Those of us in ministry will know that Easter time is pretty much the 2nd busiest time of year!

This easter has been great for me personally. It usually flies by as another holiday weekend that our family works like crazy. But this year, I've been able to really slow down and remember what Christ did. A reflective service on Thursday night, a Good Friday service on Friday morning at sunrise, and watching The Passion of the Christ on Friday night, really got me in good headspace to remember the incredible sacrifice that He made for us.

I hope this has been a good time for you all too! Lets not let easter slip past as another weekend, but rather really meditate and dwell on what Christ did, so that when Sunday arrives, we know why we are celebrating!

So this is it....

It is 2010, the year of opportunity, and the year of changes. What could I do to be a part of this year of new experiences and new things? well...? Start a blog! YES.

I've never been a big fan of blogging, as I myself find it hard to sit down at a computer and read about somebodies life in small, slightly frustrating and unreadable fonts of random colours. This was until I decided to start a blog of my own. (thanks to grandma for giving me the idea/motivation)

The purpose of this blog is mostly to allow family and friends that are not on the same continent as myself to keep tabs on me, and hear what I am doing with my life. I have a feeling there is going to be a LOT to say here, as everything in my life is constantly changing. I hope it is enjoyable to read, and not merely information. Feel free to let me know what you think about what I'm doing, or suggestions on how to improve my new blogging experience.

Thanks so much for wanting to be a part of my life, happy reading!