Monday, May 17, 2010

hope...

Maybe you could tell from my last post that I wasn't in such a great place. Yes, it was relatively obvious. Sorry for letting that out on my blog! but anyway, through the struggle, there is hope.

After dwelling in this kind of hopelessness, I had an awesome conversation with my youth pastor/boss. She told me. "Don'be let worries about next year be defined by what you do, rather by who you are and who you become". The fact is, it doesn't matter what I do, next year, because God is going to use me and grow me no matter what. This thought has become a mindset, and this mindset has really freed up my thinking...
SO what now? Well, I started looking at church internship programs in the states. Found one that I filled out an application for in HAWAII!! But keeping options open to do something radical. Then, after speaking to a lady in our church who runs the missions and justice side of Grace, she suggested that I could go work at this orphanage about 2 hours away from where I am. it has like a thousand kids and is an amazing ministry, but just short staffed. Wouldn't that be a way to spend the year?

See, the point is not that my future is all worked out, its that God is in control, and if I keep seeking after what HE wants for me, then all will be good. I came across this psalm that has really encouraged me and become my 'theme psalm' for the moment :)
Its Psalm 16 (NLT):

5Lord , you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
What a wonderful inheritance!

I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
My body rests in safety.
For you will not leave my soul among the deads
or allow your holy ones to rot in the grave.
You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever!

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